A humble tribute to the blonde babe who married a totally awesome dude and cranked out the worlds cutest baby. Seriously he’s the cutest ever, in the whole world, in all history…ever. Proof ↓
1. Why my best friend is the best mother ever – she puts up with shit.
Not just my shit, which is typically on average 99% hilarious, but REAL shit. Not just baby shit either, but #REALshit. That adorable bundle of joy wakes up screaming in the night? Guess who rushes to get him at light speed with pure motherly affection to calm that unnecessary banshee scream he unleashes upon our slumber at 2:00 am. Guess who is there first thing when he does it again after a brief 45 minute nap? She utilizes her inherent, borderline magical, motherly abilities to convalesce him back to sleep. Day in, day out she takes care of him with the softest touch and even more gentle of a heart. He isn’t immediately taken care of at all times to get him to stop screaming, he’s rushed to because she wants to know her baby is ok and to make him feel better.
I do what I can to alleviate her and let her catch up on much needed sleep on the weekends but it doesn’t even compare to that daily grind she pulls, looking so damn fine to boot. I don’t know how she does it every day. The best part is that she’s happy to do it because she loves her son more than anything else, I love that about her.
2. Why my best friend
married a fine-ass hunk of man who can wrestle bears is the best mother ever – she has an informed opinion to validate her superlative motherly instincts and educates herself on every decision she makes with Grey.
I’m not talking about some random mom’s blog, or some misguided
ignorant fear-mongering dipshit fool with a voice like David Wolfe. I’m talking about peer-reviewed journal studies that conducted years of observations and recorded their findings to form a conclusion.
Believe it or not, Krista and I have argued. Despite my adorably cute puppy eyes (♥ε♥), flexed biceps and logical reasoning (I do science). Google has caused more arguments than any other in our relationship, by usually favoring my side ಠ_ಠ. But if I start talking about something we should do with Grey I’m basing only anecdotally and haven’t done any sort of investigation other than my own thought analysis, I get schooled with Dr. names, references and questioned on what sources I used to come to my conclusion. It makes me so proud that my smoking hot wife has force fed me humble pie using my own logic and rationality for decision making. It’s an omnipresent fact that there’s no secret formula to raise a baby so it forces a parent to be aware of all possible options, I love that she goes out of her way to try and make sure he gets the best option.
Like that time in our former pediatrician’s office. The young Dr. that didn’t have a child made a statement about how to be parenting rather than anything medically related; without missing a moment Krista respectfully asked her the “why” and named off a few renowned expert Dr.’s in the field that utterly disagreed with her. Not in a combative way, but in an informed manner questioning why. It wasn’t medical advice, it was parental advice from someone who didn’t have a child. She shut that shit down quick with an informed opinion formed by reading studies conducted by experts in their field. I was all like:
3. Why my best friend is the best mother ever – the patience.
Oh my god I never saw this happening. Neither Krista and I were blessed with that pain in the ass virtue they call patience. There has been times where my partner in crime and I haven’t exercised the best patience with each other, but the level of patience she has with our child continues to astound me to this day. Whether it’s Grey surprising us by magically ripping off his 5 minute old diaper that he somehow dropped a humongous afternoon bomb in running around the kitchen, to wanting the boob for the third time in 5 minutes or getting pissed off in Kroger because he can’t reach the beautiful glass bottle of rare imported 100% extra virgin olive oil; she has a level of patience that I never could have imagined. I love that about her.
I piss her off less now too, so that’s also cool! HIGH FIVE!
4. Why my best friend is the best mother ever – she still finds time to be my wife.
I’m not talking about pouring me a cold beer and delivering me a god damn hot ham sandwich on a silver plate. That’s never happened, but that’d be sweet. I’m talking about even after a long day, being tired and utterly deserving of solid backrub, she still finds a way to be my rock when I need her. Yes, magnificent alpha male unicorns such as myself have occasional bad days. When I do, she somehow always finds time to be my wife after being a mom all day. I know that she is always there, I know that she will always be there for him and he takes priority. I adore that he comes before me, always will…and I absolutely love that about her.
5. Why my best friend is the best mother ever –
she makes me hot like fire she makes me want to be a better person and father.
I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes, I do have room for improvement. I’m not talking about range of motion on my front squats that provide my rock hard gluteus maximus (that’s your butt! (‿ˠ‿) Tehee!) type of improvement. But the other not so fun kind if improvement, such as fun language, appropriateness, etc. That stuff…
I look at how much of a selfless, passionate and tenaciously loving mother she is to our child and it inspires me to do better. Whether that’s toning down my colorful diction during the NFL season, laughing when Grey causes me to spill over my coffee, giving more soft love than my inclination to give hard love, or just finding that extra bit of energy after a long day of work…her sheer unwavering assiduousness to our child’s needs 24/7 does it for me. I do everything I can to help, but there’s something about mommy that cures all ailments. Daddy teaches him stuff like how to laugh at his hilarious diaper symphony, mommy teaches him that she will always, always be there for him. (spoiler alert: so will dad) I love that about her.
6. What’s that? The post said five reasons and I’m doing six? Hahahaha…I do what I want. You will listen as long as I want!
Why my best friend is the best mother ever – she takes the time to write, record, photograph and document our lives.
The beauty of this isn’t the opportunities you’re so graciously presented to see my charming and handsome face, it’s the fact that if I died in a fiery car crash tomorrow…Grey would be able to look back and see how much his parents absolutely adored him. He may not see the nights where I wanted to use a tranquilizer to get him to go to sleep, but he’ll be able to see that there’s two people who loved him more than anything else in their world. How he magically transformed two best friends into proud parents and how they did their best to figure out how he can live a long and happy life.
I love and admire that she does for me, her and above all else, him.
Happy Mothers Day Angel!