It’s not even 9AM and I am already on my second cup of coffee.
I am not a more than one cup of coffee in the morning type of person.
But today I am.
I was rudely awakened with an open palmed smack to the face, followed by another hand and then a knee from my 8 month old who was trying his hardest to crawl over me. He was headed for my nightstand that holds numerous things that are not suitable for an 8 month old…like my water bottle for instance, or my wedding ring. But I am sure both would have been equally as fun for him to play with had he gotten his hands on them.
I looked at my phone to see that it was 5:30AM. FIVE-THIRTY. I thought to myself, nope, not happening today. And then I remembered that it was Monday and Kane was already gone for work so it was up to me to put this baby back to sleep…or get out of bed.
Commence me pulling out all of the stops to get Grey back to sleep.
I nursed him…didn’t work.
I pulled him in super close and shushed him while simultaneously crossing my fingers…didn’t work.
I got out of bed and rocked him…didn’t work.
This kid just wanted to wake up and play…so I gave up and got out of bed.
I walked out to the living room which was a disaster zone because after the day we had yesterday, I didn’t have the energy to put all of the toys away.
I put Grey in his bouncer, started the coffee and threw some eggs on the stove.
My eggs were almost done cooking when I heard the grunting.
Grey was already trying to push one out!
I quickly went in to get him out of the bouncer because I know all too well what happens when he poops while he’s sitting in it.
But I was too late.
There was poop everywhere. Up his back, on the bouncer, on the floor beneath the bouncer, etc.
He seems to time these massive blowouts when I’m home by myself.
So into the bathtub he went.
After his bath I realized how badly I had to pee so I set him in a safe spot and quickly walked to the bathroom.
Right as I sat down, he started screaming…because God forbid I leave him by himself for half a second.
Once I got back to him, I could tell by his face that he was tired and needed to go down for a nap.
Which got me thinking about how for the past week he has been fighting his sleep like crazy.
He will not go down for a nap without a screaming match.
I nurse, I rock, I sing lullabies, I have tried everything and he still fights it.
My mom tells me it’s just a phase…and I’m hoping it’s over soon.
So I tried for what seemed like an eternity and he finally fell asleep.
As I’m walking away from the bedroom frustrated, exhausted, and about to absolutely lose it…the thought crosses my mind,
“Why would anyone ever have a second child?”
and literally right when I thought that, it hit me.
It’s for the love.
The overwhelming, unconditional, all encompassing love that you feel for your baby.
I love my husband, my family and my friends.
But the love I feel for Grey is so…different.
And I know that is why I would do this all over again in a heartbeat.