I spiraled out of control with my eating…and my mind was spinning in so many different directions. I would read fitness magazines and expect myself to look exactly like the models. And then when I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t look like them…I would become depressed and upset with myself. I didn’t notice how much of a problem this had all become until my husband and family members started making comments.
“Are you sure you want to keep competing?”
This continued for two more competitions and then I was at my crossroads. Do I keep competing in the sport that introduced me to my love for health and fitness? Or do I quit this sport and get my health back on track.
I chose to quit competing.
I’m not saying that competitions are the worst thing in the world…because I really did enjoy it at times. I owe a lot to these shows because they are really what started my journey in health and fitness. I learned so much and honestly I’m not sure where I would be today had I not done that first competition. Not to mention I made some really great friends. It’s just not something that is right for me. Quitting this sport was really tough mentally. I had finally found something that I felt I was good at…and that not many people could do. I realize now why a lot of people can’t do these competitions.
They are hard.
Yes, physically they are tough because you are working out all the time.
The hardest part though was mentally and emotionally. I was all over the place and needed a change.
It took me a very long time but I am so happy to say now that I have finally found a balance. I eat healthy 80% of the time…I stay active…and honestly I don’t worry about what my body looks like.
I am finally happy.
I am finally content.
I am finally healthy.